Just Sit Up

What a foolish girl I can be! Just when I thought I lived through the worst someone comes along and proves me wrong. People all over the world has experienced devastation and destruction that changes them for the rest of their lives. They lay there on their back beaten up. Pain and loss rippled through their inner being. The will to go on has faded away. I felt that way before. I’m not the only one. There are far more situations people have gone through than myself. I’m grateful. Foolishness in my thinking has brought me to this brink. The realization that my life is good. What happened to me can be replaced with love and joy. Hearts can heal. Life does and will go on! Loss is one of the most destructive elements I have seen in my life. It could be the loss of a loved one, relationship, home, and the most serious one – yourself.

The movie Cake inspired me to write after all this time. The woman in this movie was a lawyer who was in a terrible car accident, her son and husband were killed. Her life changed FOREVER. On top of that, she sustained injuries that scarred her. She lived everyday in pain. Physical and emotional pain. She became addicted to pain medication. Think about this…she lost the most important people to her in death, and then must live in pain. My heart sank because the people I love are still here with me. My health is great. I could not imagine what a person like this goes through…maybe I do a little bit. On a smaller scale of course. Her life will never be the same. But along the way she began to find herself again. The will to carry on began to flicker. Walking around in a state of numbness and fear, clearly seen through her eyes, wore her out. A man came into her life with his five year old son. That was her awakening. Life was taken, but it gave back.

It was interesting that every time she rode in a car she had to lay the seat completely back. She laid down whenever she went somewhere. To be honest, I felt it was because of her injuries. I was wrong. It was because she was afraid to face what happened to her. I loved how that fear was illustrated. Bizarre can be a good word to use for her, but under the circumstances, I could understand. Towards the end she visited the graves of her family. She came to terms with what happened. The last scene showed her getting into the car with the seat all the way back. She lays back. Her friend starts the car. She whispers, “wait” and grabs the handle and sits up looking straight ahead…sometimes you just have to sit up…