Sad But True

“It’s just a title,” was an answer from a young girl I was speaking with regarding marriage. What? My heart sank with those words. I was explaining to her my 18 year old was moving back here from North Carolina and I mentioned she was married. Her reaction took me off guard. Her body language and facial expression exhibited her…vexation on the matter.

She went on to explain the ways that befit her lifestyle. None of it made a lick of sense. All I heard was ‘it’s a title’ and…nothing else. She asked me if I approved of that with sarcasm. My answer was, “yep.” It’s more than a title. It’s obeying what God instituted. He was the originator of marriage. Frankly, I have lived some of my life without regard of what God has commanded. It didn’t turn out so well. Why not try doing His way? Of course, the youth of today are separated from their creator because they have been filled with “anything goes.” You are allowed to do whatever you want and its okay. I’m here to tell you it’s not okay. There is a reason He tells you to listen to His voice.

What happens when you have sex without being in a loving, committed, and united marriage? Unwanted pregnancy, where the child suffers because mom and dad are not in the home. Statistics prove a child is more well rounded with both parents being in the home. Diseases being spread? That speaks for itself. Emotional trauma, especially in females, because sex IS personal and IS meant to be shared within love and have a sense of connection with it. Females get the raw end of the deal because they have sex for different reasons than males. But, males are not off the hook. God commands them to be with one…a wife. No excuses. The pleasure of a few moments IS not worth the paramount of trouble that may come after it.

The girl in the beginning of this story has a baby. She is now “seeing” someone and the baby stays with the grandparents most of the time. She claims she is working all the time. Hmm? She runs around like the teenager that she is. I can see it bothers her. She appears to be happy because of her new love. They go drinking and play video games. I never said anything until we were having this conversation. And I didn’t pry too deep but I threw a question at her.

“Wouldn’t have been easier to have had your daughter a little later on in life when you found the man you are suppose to be with? When you both were committed and united as one.” She looked at me with her stern eyes and walked away. The stress of dealing with the hated father is overwhelming and causes problems…everyday problems. Wouldn’t have been better for everyone if they simply would have waited.

God does NOT withhold love and pleasure from us. He commands us to do it in the proper situation. He says it out of love.

People may say ‘how dare you judge?’ I am not judging. I am a WITNESS to this because I have done these things and produced a child out of wedlock as a teenager.  I wanted to reason with this girl and allow her to see another perspective. Hoping it will deter her from making unnecessary mistakes. The baby is NOT a mistake. The mistake was not considering all sides of one’s actions. Hence, why people live and learn. My goal is to pass what I’ve been through and learned onto the next person. In the end, everyone has to make their own decision.


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